FAT & HAPPY
God wants you SPIRITUALLY FAT & HAPPY. Even as our natural parents desire happy and hearty babies, so God wants his babies plump with his goodness.
This is a comedic explanation as to why GOD WANTS YOU SPIRITUALLY FAT & HAPPY. |
JUDGE THIS VIDEO- I'd like to hear your evaluation of this video. 1-10 with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. Send your response to: [email protected]
Thanks and God bless God's sense of humor astounds me. Last night, before going to bed, I had a flashback vision of a post that someone put on Facebook. It showed an assault rifle wrapped in bacon. I had that vision last night and God said "The fatness is the weapon of our spiritual warfare." In other words, the super abundant blessings of God gives us victory over the devil. Then God gave an astounding confirmation for this whole message: Check it out by clicking on this link: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2013/03/07 |
JOKE FROM A FRIEND- A friend said to me today: "It's not fat its my lunch muscle." 57 years old and I had never heard that one before.
MARGARET'S JOKE & GOD'S JOKE
I received a text message from my friend Margaret. She wrote:
"I met this one lady at the nail salon who had a callus on her foot.
Does that make her a unicorn?"
I had to think about that but I finally got the joke.
Then I remembered the vision that I had last night before going to bed.
I saw a woman's red painted fingernail with a rope tied on it.
I texted Margaret back saying that I believed that the vision represented
using humor to prophetically point out the way of salvation through Jesus.
Her response:
"Lol I'm wearing red polish"
"I met this one lady at the nail salon who had a callus on her foot.
Does that make her a unicorn?"
I had to think about that but I finally got the joke.
Then I remembered the vision that I had last night before going to bed.
I saw a woman's red painted fingernail with a rope tied on it.
I texted Margaret back saying that I believed that the vision represented
using humor to prophetically point out the way of salvation through Jesus.
Her response:
"Lol I'm wearing red polish"
GOD'S HUMOROUS CONFIRMATION
Moments ago, I was facing discouragement. The reason was that today I was practicing a humorous story. When I viewed the video it was lousy! I began to doubt myself. "God, you want me to do this comedy thing but I don't feel funny at all."
Just then I accidentally brushed my hand across my top shirt pocket which accidentally activated the voice recorder that I carry around to record humorous ideas. The voice recorder played a brief joke that I had thought of this morning. Thinking about the whole being fat thing, I joked:
"In ten years I went from being like Luke Skywalker to more like Jabba the Hutt."
When I realized what I just did, I had to laugh at God's humorous confirmation to my comedy calling.
Here's how it went. I am in my office in the back of the apartment on my computer. Marilou, my beloved wife, is on her computer in the living room. We hadn't spoken to each other for about a half hour. Each of us was engaged in our computer activity.
Then, out of the blue, like a Russian meteorite, with absolutely no context whatever, Marilou raises her voice and says, "Keep your teeth, John"
It's a good thing she said that though, I had just located the pliers and was about to pull out all of my teeth to mail them to the dentist for a check up. Hey, whatever it takes to save gas these days.
Then, out of the blue, like a Russian meteorite, with absolutely no context whatever, Marilou raises her voice and says, "Keep your teeth, John"
It's a good thing she said that though, I had just located the pliers and was about to pull out all of my teeth to mail them to the dentist for a check up. Hey, whatever it takes to save gas these days.
SILAS SAYS...
Today, I received this email from my good friend Silas in Florida.
"I had a funny thing happen today. I went into a public restroom, in a Chinese restaurant, to wash my hands. At the paper towel dispenser I read the sign:
'Employees must wash your hands'
And directly below, in ink, was:
'And if no employees are available feel free to wash your own hands!'
LOL!"
Thanks for the submission Silas.
"I had a funny thing happen today. I went into a public restroom, in a Chinese restaurant, to wash my hands. At the paper towel dispenser I read the sign:
'Employees must wash your hands'
And directly below, in ink, was:
'And if no employees are available feel free to wash your own hands!'
LOL!"
Thanks for the submission Silas.
IS THIS JOKE FUNNY? (2-24-13)
Please help me evaluate this joke. Since I think all of my jokes are funny, I am a bit biased. Please score the joke from 1-10 and add any short (constructive) comments. Here's the joke- "They came out with a new breakfast cereal based on the Three Stooges. You pour milk on it and it goes SNAP, CRACKLE AND WOOO WOOOO GNAHHHHHH!" |
Two responses to our joke survey
One person said that on a scale from one to ten, with ten being the highest, this joke was a 2. Another person responded: "I score that a "facepalm" out of 10. Hey, thanks for the encouragement guys. |
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Marilou : 1, John Paul : 0
My wife outsmarts me! We have been married for 37 years. She knows me and has me pegged.
Today, I shared an incident with the church about her. I told about how I came home late from doing a meeting two nights ago. She rolled up to the table (she's in a wheelchair) and announced that she was hungry. I was so tired that I had to fight off the irritation that her statement was really a request for me to make something for her to eat. Today, I told the church that I had to pray hard to change my attitude.
This evening, after my customary Sunday afternoon nap, I was looking forward to hitting my computer. I wanted to catch up on Facebook and other fun things. As I walked to my computer room, my wife made this statement: "I would really like some scrambled eggs, ham and cheese."
Again, I was not in the cooking mood. I feebly protested but she countered with the knockout punch. "You can use this in your next talk at church." She got me! All I could do was chuckle, get over my irritation and make her scrambled egg, ham and cheese dish.
Today, I shared an incident with the church about her. I told about how I came home late from doing a meeting two nights ago. She rolled up to the table (she's in a wheelchair) and announced that she was hungry. I was so tired that I had to fight off the irritation that her statement was really a request for me to make something for her to eat. Today, I told the church that I had to pray hard to change my attitude.
This evening, after my customary Sunday afternoon nap, I was looking forward to hitting my computer. I wanted to catch up on Facebook and other fun things. As I walked to my computer room, my wife made this statement: "I would really like some scrambled eggs, ham and cheese."
Again, I was not in the cooking mood. I feebly protested but she countered with the knockout punch. "You can use this in your next talk at church." She got me! All I could do was chuckle, get over my irritation and make her scrambled egg, ham and cheese dish.
PROPHETIC DUCKS
I have a prophetic church. Most people in the church hear the voice of God. Some more than others. Even the children are prophetic. As the pastor, I have learned that I should listen to what every one has to say because they just might be prophesying and not knowing it.
However, prophetic people can be weird, strange and unusual. I liken us to fruit, nuts, and flakes. The fruit is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in us. The nuts are the prophetic seeds of truth that we speak. The flakes are the prophetic manna from heaven that God gives to us.
Today, at church during worship, I had a vision. I saw a duck's foot. I then shared with the congregation that we all are like ducks. We can swim, walk and fly yet our constant quacking annoys others.
When I got home from church, I found a very humorous confirmation to this revelation in the comic strip called "Pickles."
Click on this link to view that comic confirmation.
http://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/pickles/s-1281480
However, prophetic people can be weird, strange and unusual. I liken us to fruit, nuts, and flakes. The fruit is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in us. The nuts are the prophetic seeds of truth that we speak. The flakes are the prophetic manna from heaven that God gives to us.
Today, at church during worship, I had a vision. I saw a duck's foot. I then shared with the congregation that we all are like ducks. We can swim, walk and fly yet our constant quacking annoys others.
When I got home from church, I found a very humorous confirmation to this revelation in the comic strip called "Pickles."
Click on this link to view that comic confirmation.
http://www.arcamax.com/thefunnies/pickles/s-1281480
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Comedian Mike Warnke
I had a great time tonight listening to comedian Mike Warnke at Harvest Fellowship in Stevens, PA.. I got some of his DVD's also. He will be ministering in the area for a couple of days.
Here's his schedule if you would like attend.
February 23, 2013 Harvest Chapel 6949 York Road, Abbottstown, PA 17301
Contact number: (717) 624-1613
Call for ministry times
February 24, 2013 Grace Chapel 2535 Colebrook Road, Elizabethtown, PA 17033
Contact number: (717) 944-5571
Ministry time: Currently scheduled for 10am service only (call to verify)
Here's his schedule if you would like attend.
February 23, 2013 Harvest Chapel 6949 York Road, Abbottstown, PA 17301
Contact number: (717) 624-1613
Call for ministry times
February 24, 2013 Grace Chapel 2535 Colebrook Road, Elizabethtown, PA 17033
Contact number: (717) 944-5571
Ministry time: Currently scheduled for 10am service only (call to verify)
Here's some audios of
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Great clean comedy by Mike Hickman, watch how he handles the "Heckling Church Lady".
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I saw this at a local grocery store today.
THE APPLE AND THE SHIRT COLLAR (2-19-13)
I had a vision last night, where I saw an eaten apple with just the core remaining in a shirt collar. I knew that the shirt collar represented speaking and the eaten apple represented the fall of mankind through the sin of Adam and Eve.
In today's newspaper there was a wonderful confirmation for the vision!
In the comic strip called "Pearls Before Swine" the pig character was tired of always hearing bad news in the newspaper. So he printed his own newspaper filled with good news. He knocked on a person's door and says "Have you heard the good news?"
What is God saying?
God is challenging us to preach the good news, the gospel of salvation in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ died for our sins inherited from Adam & Eve. Now we have eternal life through him.
To view the comic click on this link:
http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2013/02/18
In today's newspaper there was a wonderful confirmation for the vision!
In the comic strip called "Pearls Before Swine" the pig character was tired of always hearing bad news in the newspaper. So he printed his own newspaper filled with good news. He knocked on a person's door and says "Have you heard the good news?"
What is God saying?
God is challenging us to preach the good news, the gospel of salvation in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ died for our sins inherited from Adam & Eve. Now we have eternal life through him.
To view the comic click on this link:
http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2013/02/18